A rant on where my head has been.

Trigger Warning:   Suicide, Bullying, Hate, Racism, Bigotry, Death and more.

This one is a long one. But I can not apologize for that. So here goes..

I have been slow to write and work on my readings, or really much of anything the past few weeks. And I have been trying to process all the multitude of things that have been pounding in my brain. But still going, still working, still being there as able for those who need. Never stopping to actually process and release and mourn. I don’t mind that. That’s just part of what I do. The job description of almost every hat I wear. But, since a dear friend and brother encouraged me to let it out, and I had a very visible meltdown in the middle of the grocery store, then another friend and sister again saying, “let it out”, I figured I would vent here. Now that I’ve had time to think it through, the fact of the matter is, everything that has been troubling me is spurred from one thing in various forms. And that thing is hate. Now, I am not one to say that hate is an invalid or wrong emotion as a whole. There are times it is justified, as when you are done terribly wrong or harmed by someone that you did not do wrong. But the hate that drives people to fight against and do harm to innocent people, that is a problem. And especially in cases when that hate is based on the simple fact that the target is viewed as “different” than the oppressor, or simply believes a different way. 

On May 28th, after a week of worrying and wondering, we received word that a member of our spiritual group and tribe had ended her own life. This came after a hateful low-life goaded her into doing it. She had suffered off and on with suicidal thoughts for a long time, and with COVID-19 and social distancing, she was not able to get an opening for professional help. Then an evil nid, which I will not call a man, posted on social media calling her out by name to call her a coward and a vampire and told her to “go ahead and kill yourself”. This made her spiral more, and three days later, she signed off for the last time and took her own life. And this was all because the one who goaded her had so much hate in his heart and was so arrogant that he believed his view on mental health and spirituality was the only true view and that anyone who doesn’t agree is the real problem in the world. Just a few days after this, I heard about the plans of the so-called “pride-fall” planned as a cyber attack and doxxing of any people of the LGBTQ+ community on social media. These people are sharing photos and any identifying information on any LGBTQ+ people they can find and encouraging people to harass them and even be violent or out right kill them. And of course, during all this, we all have seen the news of what is currently going on with the murder of George Floyd, the Black Lives Matter movement, and the protest that followed. I say protest because it has been proven many times over that white supremacists and others are the ones hijacking the protest to give an excuse for attack and call it a riot in order to discredit the movement. And no amount of hateful bigoted rhetoric is going to change that fact. Everywhere I turn, I am seeing my fellow white people screaming “That’s not the right way to protest. Do it peacefully” and “ALL lives matter”. And all I can say is, they know they are wrong. THEY are the problem. When innocent African-Americans are being killed by police with little or no consequence, and there were peaceful protests like taking a knee during the anthem, black celebrities using their celebrity status to say “Stop hurting our people”, they were booed, and cursed at, and told to stop. And now when another innocent black man was murdered by police and they peacefully protest and cops come out with riot gear and tear gas and rubber bullets before any incident even occurred, you have the audacity to call it a riot and inciting violence when it was the ones oppressing them once again going into attack mode on innocent people. And then you start screaming about “Martin Luther King Jr wouldn’t have liked that”. One, again, the movement is not the ones doing. Two, even IF it was them, so what?! MLK also said that riots are for people who have gone unheard. And, most importantly, we white people do NOT have the right to tell black people what their movement leaders would have said or done or wanted. We have proven time and again that we don’t listen to peaceful protest. “All lives matter” is an excuse for you to not care. Yes, we know all lives matter. But until Black Lives are actually treated like they matter, then you are proving you don’t truly believe “all lives matter”. Because if you did, you would help, you would speak up, you would not make excuses for ANYONE to hurt them. If you really believe all lives matter, prove it. Stand with our African-American fellow humans and say yes, Black lives DO matter. I am very well acquainted with having friends and loved ones come to me in times of need. But lately, it is constant. People are in fear and worry because of the hate and bigotry allowed to run rampant in this country. Many of my black friends are scared because they don’t know if they will be the next innocent target of violence and hatred. And even though I am used to being a safe place to vent, I never dreamed there would come a day that I would have to tell my friends and tribe mates “Don’t go out alone”.  I am fearful for them. I am fearful for the people protesting. I am fearful of what might come next. And all because people can’t stop hating people for things they can’t help. It is time to stop. As Lokean & Rokkatru, we stand for those who are outcast and oppressed because our gods and deities know all too well what it is like to be hated simply for how you were born. Now is the time to stand for equality. As loudly as possible. Stop letting your friends make these hateful and hurtful statements for the sake of being polite. Stand up. Because what people see you ignore, they will assume you agree with. So if you believe that the hate and bigotry should stop, start at home. Start among your friends and relatives. Start on your social media friends list. Whoever, whatever, Speak up. Stop the hate. YES! Black Lives Matter. And until they are treated like they matter and are not arrested and killed for breathing while black, I will continue to say it. Just like I continue to support mental health, anti-bullying, and my LGBTQ+ community. How can I fight for equality for my own group and not others? That would be hypocritical, and I won’t do it. Neither should you. But most importantly, it should be stated and fought for because its the right thing to do. That’s all for the moment. Again, sorry it was more lengthy than usual. But, it needed said. If you have a problem with this, just go ahead and unfollow. Because I don’t need that on my page. 

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